potty training a stuborn child

question about potty training

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007

Individual experience. Results will vary.

Hi Lora,

First of all, let me compliment you on your EXCELLENT approach to potty training. It has worked beautifully and, truth be known was much easier than I thought it was going to be. I really agree with your focus and dedication principles, along with love and gentle encouragement.

I am a stay at home Mom and have just potty trained Lindsey using your method. Lindsey is a 3 years and 9 month little girl who is wonderful in every way…but, is VERY stubborn and definitely has a mind of her own. On top of that, she has a significant speech and language delay that we are overcoming with lots of support and speech therapy from our local Intermediate Unit (provided by our public school system). She has also been tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder and the test results have proved that she is NOT (and nowhere near) on the spectrum, but indeed, is a very quirky kid - again, she wants to do what she wants to do and is on her own agenda. A trait that will serve her well later in life (she’ll probably be one of our great leaders), but it definitely does make parenting her a challenge.

We started your WONDERFUL training program last Weds (3/7/07) and have been accident free since Sat!! All weekend she has been going on her own or telling us in her own way that she has to go.

Having said all that, here is my question/concern:

Lindsey only pees 3 (maybe 4) times a day. My concern is that she is not voiding often enough. She seems to only release onto the toilet when her bladder is completely full & she can’t hold it any longer. I can tell she does have urges to go (holding herself, leg crossing, etc) sometimes as long or longer than an hour before she releases. She is dry though, all day and at night. She has amazing control!!

She is not a big “drinker” - she maybe consumes about 2 to 2.5 cups of liquid a day (apple juice, chocolate milk & Danimals drinkable yogurt).

I am wondering if we will ever get to the point that she will be able to release when she just “trys to go” (in other words - before her bladder is completely full). I do believe that kids should at least try to go pee before a car ride or before going to bed.

I would like to know your thoughts on this. Because she is several hours between voids, sometimes she does not feel she has to go before bed then is getting up in the middle of the night. Don’t get me wrong - I am VERY pleased that she’s doing this rather than wetting the bed. But I know she can stay dry some 12-14 hours if she can void right before bed. She has incredible control.

Again, to sum up: my main question is: do you think she will ever get the hang of releasing whenever she tries to go? Or, if she is this way now (only releases when she is completely full), she’ll always be this type of “potty-er”. I also want to make sure that because she’s not voiding very often that it’s harmful to her (in terms of getting UTIs or bladder infections).

I know she is just getting the hang of this whole potty thing and I am soooo proud of her. She is really trying hard and I do not want to seem like I’m complaining or ungrateful for her accomplishments thus far. I would like to know your thoughts though.

Thank you so much,

Michelle Simon


Sunday, March 11th, 2007

Individual experience. Results will vary.


I just have to tell you “WOW” we had church today and I had to give it a lot
of thought not taking Bohdan because I wasn’t sure if he was ready (potty
training). Our service is 2 hours long and Bohdan stayed dry the whole time
(I was asking him to tell me if he needed to go) “WOW” My husband and I then
took the kids out for lunch where Bohdan told us three times he had to go to
the bathroom !!!!! By this evening Bohdan is actually tells us when he has
to go making it (4 pee’s and 2 poops on the potty this evening).

I can’t express how lost for words I am, I thought Bohdan would never get it
because of some main reason please see below,

  • Very stubborn
  • Still having a little bit of a hard time communicating
  • Was very afraid of the potty

But after reading your book and using the techniques, it made it easier than
I ever thought possible!!!!!! Don’t get me wrong the first day or two was a
little hard having to stay right with him and catching him in the middle of
accidents, everyone kept telling me he’s not going to get it, he’s too
young, he’s going through too many underwear, my favorite go to the store
and him pull-ups.

I stuck to my guns and told everyone not to use negative talk around Bohdan
and myself and that Bohdan was a very smart boy that just need the
confidence and his mama to understand and read his signs.

Thanks a million, I know everyday will be easier. My husband and I are going
to Mexico next weekend and my mom is very happy I did this now and is
prepared for any accidents and I will be ready for any set-back when we
return in 1 week.

Debbie Rotoff

A Little Voice Called To Us From The Bathroom

Saturday, February 3rd, 2007

Individual experience. Results will vary.

Hi Lora,

The old saying of “seeing is believing” absolutely applies to us. Our little Emilee is so head strong we thought no way is this program going to work. The first day she had about 8 accidents. My wife was ready for the accidents and it did not seem that Emilee was ever going to understand using the potty. On the second day we made some headway. She still had about 5 accidents but seemed to start to understand by telling us when she needed to go potty. On the third day I was blown away when Emilee told us to stay where we were because she wanted to use the potty by herself. I will never forget what happened next. A little voice called to us from the bathroom saying,” Guys”. We all responded to her call saying ” yeah?” and then that little voice came back and said” I went potty.” Joyfull cheers rang from the living room and songs of praise fell from heaven. On the fourth day she had one accident involving poop. My wife changed her and used your instructions as far as what to say to her and from that point on she now does that on the potty. She has had two accidents since that day and both happen usually when she is sleeping or just waking up. What I like about these two accidents is how it really bothers her and last night she woke up in the middle of the night around 1am and told my wife she had to go potty and she did. Lora, thank you so much for this program. We now have more freedom and can’t wait for our 6 month old to reach that age of potty training. I can say and you can use us as a referance that this plan is worth every penny spent and even more.

With all our appreciation,

Tim and Diana Miller
Poughkeepsie, NY

Consistency Works Wonders

Monday, January 29th, 2007

Individual experience. Results will vary.


Well, we started last Wednesday, by mid day Thursday I thought nothing was going to happen. It seemed to be getting worse!! She was getting kind of stubborn about it, so I introduced “Potty Candy” (starburst jelly beans) and told her that when she went pee or poo in the potty she could have 2 potty candies. She liked that idea, but was quite upset when I didn’t give her more or when she didn’t produce, but I stuck to my guns. The candy inspired her to try a little more often and soon she was having no trouble sitting & “tinkling”. On Friday, we had NO accidents!!! On Saturday, only 1 pee & 1 poo accident, but 2 poos made it!!! Sunday, only one poo accident. So, she is back at daycare in big girl panties today!! She also stayed dry at naps 4 out of the 5 days, so we are totally panties all day.

Consistency works wonders!!! Your guide gave me the inspiration to really go at this in the right way. My 5 year old was a nightmare to train, so I was expecting the worse again!!! I believe now, if I had done this same thing with him at around 22-26 months we wouldn’t have had all the problems we had!

Thank you!

Missy & Delaney!!

I Can’t Thank You Enough

Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007

Individual experience. Results will vary.

From Brooke regarding Morgan

I can’t thank you enough. I was really skeptical at first, but we had tried everything else so I thought “why not”. By the end of day two my 3 yr old was accident free and has been since. We used a sticker chart along with your potty training method and she did it! I really thought she was just too stubborn to train, but I was pleasantly surprised at the results. Again, thank you so much, I am telling all the parents I know about your website.

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