It amazes me that some people would rather draw out the process
Monday, September 10th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
On Day 1 I wrote: Thanks for your encouragement. I made a big mistake today though in trying to start - don’t worry, we are going to stick with the plan. I just should have waited to monday as planned. This morning I got up in time to catch Aaron just as he awoke and got him out of his pjs and diaper in time to go on the potty. Because he was excited I decided to get him his underwear and asked him which he wanted - he chose the underwear over the diaper. (there wouldn’t have been a choice on monday) I hadn’t reread your book though so - obviously I didn’t start as you indicated - after breakfast. We had lots of accidents ( which my husband is not a fan of). A few times I was distracted but I did take him as fast as possible to the potty everytime. He went through all the underwear (13 pr presently) - had to rewash in progress. But the last 2 times before nap I could see he recognized that he was going- he had a paniced look on his face and then he said he had to go poopy - even though he meant the other was in progress. So I reread the book during nap and tried to have some hope that although I screwed up a little that I was doing it close to right and just had to regroup during nap time and try harder not to get frustrated with him. or me. (fortunately my son takes a long nap) I talked to my husband during this time also and appoligized to him for doing it earlier than planned and that if the “accidents” would be a problem - because of the rugs -that I would try to keep Aaron in the bathroom (playing with various toys) so that I could get him to the potty faster today. We also agreed that we should get a potty chair for the rest of the 3 days to have down stairs in the far corner of the kitchen so I could have him in the kitchen to play. We agree he should use the potty in the bathroom but we don’t have a clear path between our kitchen and the powder room. (and if it isn’t bad enough our house is for sale - I hope no one asks for an appointment for the next two days) so using the potty chair temporarily will help.
The second half of the day- after nap was much better, although still frustrating but better and it did end well with 3 times on the potty where he asked and I was able to get him to the potty with out an accident and he went. I had started a sticker reward poster for him in the morning but made sure to put it up more prominently in the bathroom so during the second half of the day he was more interested in it and was thrilled when he could put his favorite sticker on it for the first of the times he went - controlling the urge til I got him there.
My husband came home and although he is the big skeptic he did bring dinner up to me and Aaron and he picked up a potty chair at the store and is now steam cleaning the upstairs carpet that got peed on several times this morning. And he has said he hopes that I prove him wrong. (it doesn’t help that he works for a diaper company - so he has no problem with pull ups or the like- it is just me)
So now that you’ve had a good laugh at my situation I have 2 questions
1 - Aaron has asked several times to go on the potty but then doesn’t have to go - what is the best thing to say?
2 - This evening I gave him a bath and then he went to pee again and he seemed like he was in pain - crying alittle and pushing his penis up instead of down into the toilet. - Obviously if it continues tomorrow I may have to call the dr - any ideas though. It may have just hurt he groin - he slipped on the floor from the water.
Thank for your answers and time.
On Day 2 I wrote:
Yesterday was tough but ended on a high note. Today was better but ended not so great.
In the am I got to him right away and he but couldn’t go right away and we reviewed that he should tell me. I had to catch him a couple of times but then he remembered and from mid morning til mid evening he was on the same underwear. The highlight of the day was before his nap we let him go out side to play for a little bit - my husband went out with him. I saw that he wasn’t really right there with Aaron so I went out to ask Aaron about being dry and to tell us if he had to go. 5 min later or less he said “More pee” And I wisked him off to the kitchen door, saying to hold it or something til we got there. My husband opened the door and I put him on the potty chair and he went after a few seconds. He stayed dry and made it. Since he didn’t go to sleep right away during nap - i went in after abotu 30 min and suggested he try to go again - which he did and then took his nap and stayed dry. The afternoon proceded also with success.
Then during his dinner he had one small accident - as he was saying pee on potty. But not a full blown mess and did it right the next time. Then I could tell he was trying to poop. Usually he goes in the morning although if he doesn’t then he might go in the evening. He asked to go potty several times with no result. Then he went one small terd. I praised him lots and tried to get him to call his daddy - who was out. But he just wanted to go back to his activity and during this he started to go again and suddenly we both realized that we were a little late - but I got him over there and got the poop in from his underwear and let it sort of finish and praised him again. Again he just wanted to go back to playing. Which he did but then he was distracted and started peeing alot and I realized kind of late because he said nothing. I assured him and but then he realized there was a big puddle and tried to get to it to play “Splash” in it. We had this problem yesterday. I tried to use time out and explain that we don’t splash in pee - it is yucky and only goes in the potty. Tonight I tried again but he just got more wound up. Now it was bed time and although we went through the routine he wasn’t out of all his silliness and didn’t go right to sleep. I did check on him once but I felt I should again. I got delayed in doing this and discovered that he had wet the bed and was almost asleep in it. I got him up and changed his clothes and sat him to try again. I felt bad because I don’t know that he didn’t call for me - he may have and I just didn’t hear him. My husband is still out (it isn’t that he isn’t supporting this - actually he is hoping to be proven wrong and is proud of Aaron’s progresss - It is his father’s birthday today and they went to dinner) so I had to put him to bed in the crib because the bed is hard to change by myself. He just switched to the bed this week - before this process started - probably not the best order of events. Anyway I feel bad about the whole end to what was a really good day other wise.
Other items of note - he really likes the potty chair - easier for him to get on and off by himself and more comortable for him to sit on. And it plays music when he goes! A nice praise. No more painfull expressions during peeing. and he is proud of his sticker chart and counts his stickers once in a while.
Hope your having a good weekend. If you have a chance to respond to either day1 or today’s message that would be great. If not - I think am doing okay. I keep reminding myself great strides are being made - it will work- what I call “Potty School” and what my husband is calling “Potty bootcamp” and when he “graduates” it will be well worth it.
Day 3 was yesterday.
And it went fairly well. I was there when he woke up and suggested we try to go potty. Although he tried he wasn’t ready. And although we went through the reminders - he had an accident. However he stayed on track the rest of the day. He never poopy on day 3, but as far as the pee you could tell he was controlling it better. He had a couple of damp times so there were a few underwear changes but he again requested when outside to go and made it.
He protested his nap - not uncommon - he did request to go potty and I took him and he went. However he never went to sleep. And then I had to run out so we got him up and he hung out in the kitchen with my parents - who are very supportive of your philosophy and so I gave them the low down and left - was gone about an hour. He requested to go but it was a false alarm. I hoped their presence wouldn’t be a distraction the rest of the day but it worked out fine. And now my husband and parents now what to do with him.
Close to bedtime, we gave him a bath during which he started to pee. My husband let the water our and told him that next time he should ask to go potty - we don’t pee in the bath tub. Later he did ask to go and we lifted him out wet and he went on the potty! However at the end of the bath he got into a mood - due to a combination of lack of nap, teeth molars and other potential factors and threw a fit over letting the water out of the bath himself. It wasn’t until I gave him Motrin and teething tablets that he fell asleep in my arms. So - the going to bed routine wasn’t quite normal. We put him in the crib last night but tonight since he graduated and is doing really well today we will put him in the big bed.
Day 1 Graduate School - This morning I went in and applied a slightly different strategy. I just talked to him - reminding him about the rules using the questions and suggesting he tell me when he had to go but we could try now. At first he said no then wanted to, and then first had a false alarm or could relax to release but then he went! no accidents! we all go together with him and explained he had now graduated potty school and Was to refine his abilities in “graduate school” and that we had a graduation present for him - Thomas t-shirt and underwear. I thought he would like to put it on - . He seemed excited but wanted to stay in his current shirt and underwear. (So I guess we”ll be enfocing new underwear after bath time.) I had put a pair of elastic waste shorts on him for today as he has graduated but still easy to pull down. Because he hasn’t had many opportunities to go poopy - I am continuing to have to teach him on that. Today went well with it but not up to 100% yet. He asked to go this morning but didn’t have the patience to sit there and get it out. So it took a few imes and me explaining that it was rght there - which it was. He went one small ball And then a second time alot. The second time agin he was upset that it didn’t come right away and had stood up. Just then started out and i got him down and he finished. I think it finally made sense and he was excited so we’ll see over the next few days.
So all in all starting friday not quite right and only 90% prepared worked out okay especially since I still have the next 3 days to ensure continued success and practice the finer points with him like the poop and going over to the potty himself and helping with pulling down/up his uderwear and shorts.
Any comments you have are appreciated although I think we’re doing well.
I wanted to mention that the sticker chart I made I did directly on to a 12X12 Scrapbook page so that when I get to it it will be all made for his scrapbook. Although it worked for Aaron - I did realize that an older kid may not do as well with the chart. Separate rewards as you suggested would probably be better. I think my nephew, for example who is closer to 3, might wonder why there were more stickers on day 1 and 2 then on 3. Obviously less on day 3 because they are controling the peeing more - peeing less times but more at each time.
As we continue “graduate school” I plan to make a calender page of the same type and he can put a sticker for each day he is successful at being “dry and clean”. And give a few rewards with various milestones.
Thank you for writing the book and sharing your methodology. I have at least 2 or 3 people interested in buying the book as well and will share the idea with others as the opportunity arises. It amazes me that some people would rather draw out the process. ( I have a friend who I swore would have had her son trained by now since he never liked a messy diaper and took great interest in the potty at a young age. - and yet even after telling her that Aaron was successful doesn’t seem interested in taking the final step to being diaper free - and they really need to financially speaking) Admittedly this was really hard (especially with a nursing infant on the side) but it is over in a short time and a side benefit was being forced to spend hours with my son which taught me alot about him besides potty training.
Sorry about the email problems i had and thank you for letting me share my story - it will actualy serve as a great keepsake as well - do go in my son’s scrapbook.